Day 194: 2 years later i'll look at this and think i'm all of the above

Earlier today while I was looking for some old word documents for school, since I'm retaking a class, I knew that I had some notes somewhere on my computer, but instead I found a lot of old messages, stories, poems, thoughts and stuff in my word documents. I read some of them, and I have to say that I have grown so much, it's unbelievable that I could possibly grow so much in just two years.

Some of the notes were conversations that I had with people, and either I was A. Ridiculous, B. Naive, C. DUMB DUMB DUMB or D. all of the above. Some stories I wrote, well, they weren't written very well. Grammar, spelling, all that stuff was horrible. And I'm not even that great at grammar now a days, but boy! Back then was pretty bad. I would spell 'you're' just 'your' because I didn't associate the difference between the two. I saw a lot of stuff like that. It's just funny to me, because I thought I was so smart then, thought I was the shit, when really I wasn't at all.

It wasn't just the spelling and grammar that I thought was ridiculous, but my whole attitude. I was so naive with some things, like with my relationships with friends and my ex. The conversations I had with them, and the things we said to each other were, well pretty stupid. So petty. It boggles my mind that back then, that type of stuff really really got to me, but looking at it now I'm almost laughing. Back then I was so hurt, so depressed and i'm thinking to myself, WHY? I could have saved a lot of time.

I feel like even though I still whine, still worry about small problems, and sometimes still get down, after seeing what I used to be like only 2 years ago gives me hope that in 2 more years i'll grow even more.

Change is good. Sometimes I forget to notice because i'm so ridiculous, naive, dumb dumb dumb, or all of the above!