Day 175: TOO BUSY TO BLOG

BUT I GOTTA.

it's gonna be short.

I have to work ever day this weekend. For 8 hours.

I have 2 test monday.

and 3 hours worth of lectures to listen to.

No one is taking my shift and I really can't afford to do bad on my test. Like really.

I'm kind of freaking out.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

That's how I feel.

Thats it.

Day 174: 200th post!! WHOA

So once again, I have a shit ton of stuff to do. Sorry for the cursing, but i feel a little overwhelmed AGAIN! At least this time i'm not sick. Knock on wood.

This is my 200th post of blogging and I have nothing to say again. This has got to stop.

I revamped my weight loss blog. So maybe check that out?

I dont know.

I need to go

and work

on

all

my

shit.

I apologize again!

Day 173: Hump day

I went to bed last night at 8:30 and didn't get up until 8:30 this morning! I slept 12 hours! How in the world did I manage to go to bed so early, sleep all night and still feel tired today?

Thank heavens it's hump day. I always like wednesdays because I don't have school tomorrow, so I can just relax tonight. Not that I really need to relax since I woke up from a coma this morning.

And I have a test coming up and I'm sure i'll be working all weekend. But hey, thats mula in the bank. Although, it would be a lot nicer if I would just win the lottery or something. Just saying.

I haven't worked out in 26 days! 26 days!!! That's almost a whole month! I think today is the day that I need to get back into the groove because 26 days is way too long.

And i'm running out of things to say.

Clearly, i'm done.

Day 172: FRENCH

Je viens de parler français toute la journée. TOUTE LA JOURNÉE. Jeviens de dire les mêmes choses, et plus, et plus encore. Ma tête me fait mal à cause de cela.

Okay back to english. I don't think I ever want to talk about french or weather ever again. Not that's a lie, but as of right now I don't want to deal with it.

AHHHHHHH thats how I feel. I feel so very disorganized. Still scatter brained. Why is that?

You know what I really want? An Iphone. The new white one too. My phone keeps freezing, and the ringer and alarm isn't working. I keep waking up late for school. It's rather annoying.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Day 171: I'm whining again.

I was grouchy yesterday. I apologize. It was just a long tiring weekend, and the last thing I wanted to do was work.

I've just been moody this weekend. Probably from eating junk food all weekend. I swear I gained like 10 lbs.

I have to go to work in about 2 hours. I'm again not very thrilled, but at least I don't have work until friday night. Maybe it will storm tonight and they will just be like alright the stores closed. Wishful thinking on my part.

My brain has been so scatter brained the last few days too, so thats why this post isn't very together. Its just a lot of my rambles. My whiny rambles.

Tomorrow i'm going to make a french video, so that should be fun right? Thats all I'll be doing tomorrow.

Hopefully i'll be in a better mood too. Not working out thing is probably another reason my mood has been so blah. I really have gained a lot of weight. I feel so nasty. I feel like i'm pregnant because I sure look it. A food baby that is.

I just need to start working out again. It's been about 3 weeks since I have been. NOT COOL. Not cool at all.

Thank goodness easter is over, so there wont be any more candy in the house for a while. At least until another major holiday. I need to gain some self control though. My goodness. Why is food such a weakness to me?

Lame.

Okay, i'm done whining. If you have read all of this I'm amazed. Congratulations, you have just wasted a few minutes of your time. Again, I apologize.

Day 170: Happy freaking easter.

I have to work and i'm missing my moms party. I'm so upset. Today just isn't a good day. I don't feel well, I have to work, I still have homework to do, and i'm missing easter.

HAPPY FREAKING EASTER.

Day 169: Yawn

Can I have a massage? My back and body hurts from working. Blah. Thats how I feel. I can't really write now. I just feel too exhausted and I have so much to do before working all day tomorrow! I needed to complain. Sorry.

Day 168: Rolling in the deep

I love this song! Just throwing it out there.

I don't have a lot to say.

I have work tonight, but I'm not looking forward to it. I haven't been in like 2 weeks, so maybe thats why i'm dreading it.

And i'm done. Just appreciate the song. That's all I wanted you to get out of this blog.

Day 167: Relax. Don't move.

"Don't move!"

"Relax."

"Don't move!"

"Relax."

Those aren't very encouraging words to listen to while my whole body is moving into this circular machine that looks like a portal into another dimension. Instead all I wanted to do was bust out sining "Relax" by Frankie Goes to Hollywood, and start dancing. But I couldn't. I had to lie there, looking at landscape posters above my head while listening to the machine tell me to not move and relax.

I don't know why, but I feel like people are more concerned with this than I am. It's not that I don't think this is a serious matter, because it is, but I guess since it's dealing with me and I could have a tumor or whatever it is, I handle the situation more lightly than others.

As I was waiting to get my CT scan, I was thinking about all the other people who were there, waiting in the exact same waiting room as me and I kept wondering what's wrong with them? I couldn't stop myself from thinking the worst and feeling sorry for them. I just kept hoping THEY would be alright, and then I heard my name being called "Hessel? You ready for this?"

Oh yeah. I'm waiting to see what's wrong with ME. Shouldn't I be worried? Obviously not, because while I was laying in that time machine, I kept singing in my head; "Relax, don't do it, when you want to come to it."

It's funny to me, because I know if one of my family members, or friends were in the same situation as me I'd be freaking out and worried about them, but because it's me I end up laughing at the machine. It worked though. I didn't move, and I relaxed. When you want to come to it.

Day 165: Muggy Math

Oh dear, oh me, oh my. Not being able to attend math for a week and a half has put a damper on my whole doing well in school thing. I'm pretty confident in my other classes, but this one, not so much. Math isn't my forte to begin with, so missing a bunch of days puts me on edge. Any one good at statistics who wants to teach me? ;)

The last few nights, I haven't slept very well. Partly because my head aches, partly because I have been thinking too much about everything and partly because it's starting to get freaking muggy out.

I hate when the weather becomes muggy. That feeling just grosses me out. It's like i'm incased in a warm sauna, not even a hot one, and everything is sticky. Nothing can put a stop to that feeling, not even showers. My hair is even more ginormous and I sweat like a man. Now who would find that attractive? No one. Well maybe that creepy guy from my last blog.

Right now, I have about 2 hours to kill (meaning do homework) before my French Lab and I can't quite concentrate even though I'm in a tiny cubicle, in the corner of the library. I'd like to blame it on the lack of sleep and weather, but thats just making excuses. I've just got so much going on in my head that taking anytime to calm down and concentrate is a chore for me. I guess its just one of those days.

I suppose I should force myself to get too it. I've got an hour and a half to go. Thank the lord I brought my computer. Makes time go by much faster. And that is definitely needed right now.

Day 164: Strange man

So sleepy. Today was another eventful day, but this time it wasn't as... medical. I haven't been sleeping well, so waking up this morning was a little difficult. School was fun, got to see my fashions friend work, so that was pretty neat. He uses the best words. Like Janky, for instance. He's a funny friend.

Afterwards I spent the day with my friend Brandie! It feels like years since I haven't seen her, but it's only been a week. We just went and ate some lunch, survived a tornado warning and then later went to an art show of a friends. Afterwards a man hit on us. A creepy man.

Strange man, "Hey, Uh... I'm new here, where is a good place to meet people?"

Brandie, "Well, over on Fry street is pretty good. Oh, and cool beans. It's just over there across the street."

Strange man pauses, looks me up and down, checks out Brandie. I can just feel as though he is undressing me with his eyes. 'Oh gross' I think.

Strange man finally speaks again, "What are your names?"

Brandie doesn't pause at all and just nonchalantly says "Marie." Strange man looks at me. Of course I pause trying to think of a name, anything, but no, nothing comes to mind. "Katelan." I say. "Laylen? Oh thats pretty," says the strange man. 'Thank god he didn't hear me."

I look over at Brandie or should I say Marie, and she is looking at me trying not to bust up laughing, or crying i'm not sure which. "How old are you guys?" Asks the strange man.

Brandie again, quick on her feet says, "17." Strange man slowly backs away from Brandie and moves a little close to me as i'm trying so desperately hard to think of a lie. "Uh.....20." I answer honestly.

As strange man extends his hand out and points to me he asks, "Are you single?"

"No!" After telling us he's trying to be an actor he leaves. And doesn't even bother walking to fry street. In fact he walks the opposite direction, which has no people and is instead a long dark empty street.

I don't understand how people are like that? So forward and... desperate? I just don't get it. Can someone, anyone, please explain this to me?

So that was my day. My head still hurts a little, but I feel as though i'm getting better. Medication is a blessing. Thursday is my CT scan, so i'm guessing this week is going to be very busy.

163: I KNEW I HAD A TUMOR...

...maybe

I went to the doctors today and I do have a sinus infection, but lately I've been having vision problems. My doctor recommends that I get a CT scan to see if I might have a tumor. They are hoping for nothing, expecting nothing, but if I do have one, then it would be benign. Hopefully. Of course i'm completely fine that everything is going to be alright. I keep making jokes about my brain tumor, but other people don't really appreciate the great humor. Oh well.

Any who, today was a busy busy day, but as of right now, i'm trying to make my dad watch this series...and just maybe it might be working. I'll talk later. It's been a very overwhelming day.

Day 162: I'm a nerd

I am a complete nerd. I'm addicted to a new game.

It's called minecraft.

Since being sick, my obsession for this game has grown. Because I haven't been able to do much, I found this web series of these two british guys playing the game and commentating it, but they have made it into an actual expedition. It's a mixture or Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, and whatever type of adventure you can think of. I've become obsessed with it. I've tried to make my dad watch it, but I don't think he really wants to do that.

You know when you like something so much you just have to talk about it? I have no one to talk to about it, so I thought i'd just blog about it because i'm a nerd like that. Then again, looking back at what I just wrote, I sound so crazy and nerdy...

BUT THE SEIRES IS SO GOOD. These brits are so funny and so clever. They've created a magical world and journey and they really are lovable characters. I approve of it and i'm not ashamed of being a nerd. Nerds FTW.

Day 161: ....

Dude, I have nothing new to say. It's kind of depressing.

my brain has been rotting the last few days, so I decided to buy a book off of amazon for a penny. Too bad it doesn't come for a few days.

GOD i'm exciting.

I just want to play video games.

God i'm a nerd.

And a boring one at that.

Day 160: Feeling better

Feeling better, but I slept through my alarm today and missed more classes. Ergh. I really didn't plan on that, but i'm surprised I slept so much. I guess I really needed the rest.

I haven't done anything today...(or yesterday besides eat cake) and I'm really starting to get sick of doing nothing. I miss going to school, I miss going to the gym and I miss actually being able to do something without feeling like crap. Thank heavens im feeling better.

Alright. Thats really all I had to say tonight.

Day 159: cake

I just ate a whole cake. Okay, not really a whole cake, but I ate a lot of cake. It was so tempting and I haven't been feeling very well. It was just taunting me. OOOh, look at me, I'm so chocolaty, creamy, and scrumptious. EAT ME!I know you want to, It will make you forget you are even sick, just do it! So, I did. Just one bite, I thought and then then before I knew it I had like 2 pieces.

I should feel guilty that I just stuffed my face with fattening cake, but I don't. It was too delicious, and the fact that I cant really move my neck, or every time I get up my head is pounding I thought I just deserved a little treat. Well, in my case a BIG treat.

But boy let me tell you, as soon as I feel better I'm going to hit the gym like no other.

I registered for classes last night.

Gonna be in summer school all summer. WOOO. not really, but I need to do it.

Okay i'm done for now.

I'm off.

Day 158: Tonsils removed?

Sick again. I don't know what I have, and don't like it. I couldn't get a a doctors appointment until next monday. I think i'm going to get my tonsils removed. Also, pretty sure I need to get glasses too.

Any who, its my mamas birthday today. Happy birthday mom!! Hope its fabulous.

DAy 157: First day waking up early!

I'm dropping the food 30 day challenge. I did make an omelette today and I want to learn to cook, but I would like to document it every time. The only thing is, I just don't have enough time in my day to film it, edit it and then post it and then do all of my other stuff.

The waking up early challenge is still happening though, and I will sporadically cook here and there. Maybe in the summer when I have more free time, then I can do the 30 day challenge of cooking, but oh wait, I'll be taking summer school.

Oh yeah. I went and saw my advisor today. I got to see where I stand on this whole being placed on good terms for school so hopefully I wont get suspended and I can take classes in the fall.

I'm really tired and have some studying to do, so I will talk to you tomorrow.

Day 156: FAIL

Remember how I was going to start my 30 day challenge today? Remember how I failed miserably at that? Well do you also remember that I don't like to start things on Mondays, so Day 1 will start tomorrow.

Day 1 will consist of me waking up early. 8 or earlier, and learning to cook at least one meal a day. Deal.

Okay. Now I have to go because I have a million things to do before work.

I'm off.

Day 155: OH NOES!

I was too lazy and procrastinated too much yesterday... But today I have so much to do. I slept most of my day away because I was out late and didn't go to bed until like 6. And in an hour I have to go to work. But, yesterday was worth it... Just gonna suckkkkk tonight.

So sorry for the short blog.

I'm off.

Day 154: Learn to cook with me!

Starting monday I'm starting up my 30 day challenge. I'm going to try kill 2 birds with one stone. I'm going to start getting up early everyday for 30 days AND make a home cooked meal everyday. I need to learn to cook, and I need to learn to eat better, so I thought this would be a pretty sweet little challenge, right? I'm sure my mom isn't looking forward to it. I know at first my food wont be that delectable. Sorry mom, but thanks for the support :)

I think I'll also be documenting it. Whether that be with pictures or video, I want to show off my hard work. Seems to be more rewarding when I see my work outcomes.

Speaking of videos I made one the other day of my lover. I know I talk about him a lot. I'm obsessed. I'm a freak, I know, I know. I just can't stop myself.

Day 153: I can breath again!

It feels weird not to post a song today. I guess doing something for 30 days really does stick.

Monday I'm going to start waking up early again, and do that for 30 days. I really want to be a early bird, I just think that I gave up too soon last time.

Wanna hear some good news? I feel better again! Not 100% better, but better. AND I got a 83 on one of my test. Such a relief.

Also, I want to get this book called the World Religions. I've always wanted to learn more about religions and I was researching today, and that one looked like it got a lot of good reviews.

Another thing, I really need to get some cute hats. I'm trying this thing where i'm not going to straighten my hair for a while, maybe like once a month, but I kind of just want to not deal with straightening it and I need some cute hats to cover up my bad hair days. Plus I think I look good in hats.

Okay i'm done for today...

but before I go, I just want to post one more song. Because my dad has been begging for it. You're Welcome!

Day 152: BLESS YOU.

I am almost caught up with my school work. It's so wonderful. I have a test this weekend and monday and I actually feel pretty good about one of them. The other, not so much, but i'm not giving up. Also, I can't stop sneezing.

Next week though, my blogs will be better. I'll have more time to write them. WOO.

My last song for my 30 day song challenge.

DAY 30: A song that I loved during this time last year Holy crap. I think its time for a new 30 day challenge. I think once i'm better, i'm going to start the whole getting up early, going to the gym everyday thing again. I WANT TO BE AN EARLY BIRD.

Day 151: Stuffy nose rambles

I still can't breath through my nose.

I sound like a four year old.

And my mouth hasn't closed for a little while.

I cant tell wether i'm getting better or worse.

I took my French test today, and I felt good about it, BUT that could just be the medication talking.

And i'm really craving some chocolate. Or a cookie.

My mom is getting a new exercise machine, so of course she was rearranging the living room to make room for the new gigantic machine. We both learned that she is a hoarder.

And that our backs are going to be killing us later. At least the living room looks situated, and there is room for the gigantic machine.

DAY 29: A song that reminds me of my childhood

Day 150: Not a lot to say.

I'm feeling much better, but I still have a ton of stuff to do. I can't wait for next week this time, because I can just relax for a bit.

I dont have anything else to say really.

DAY 28: A song that makes me feel guilty? Um... I already did a guilty pleasure song... so I'm going to be stupid and pick a literal song.

Day 149: Explode.

My head feels like its going to explode. I've got my tylenol head congestion cold medicine, tissues, chap stick, water, vitamins, and my homework next to me. I didn't go to school today because I just wanted to sleep. Probably a bad decision on my part, but I feel like it might have helped. But only time will tell.

I always have awesome dreams when I don't feel well. It may be from the medicine, but shoot, the dream I had this morning was awesome. It was like a crazy cool CIA assassin movie and I was a flipping awesome matrix like assassin. Win. Then I woke up and couldn't breath out of my nose and realized I'm not that cool at all. Disappointment.

Well, I'm off to go work on my million and one projects. Actually its just a lot of homework and studying. If I wasn't sick, I still think my head would explode with all this junk I have to do.

DAY 27: A song that I wish i could play on an instrument

Remember when I said I wanted to learn the guitar? Well it's because of this video. It has inspired me so. Once I have time, I'm gonna go get my guitar and start practicing. WOO.

DAy 148: SIck out.

I don't feel well. And I have a million things to do. Shoot me in the face?

Day 26: A song I can play on an instrument.

This made me feel a little better.

Day 147: List

Things I want to do today:

• Gym
• Lay out
• Draw
• Read

Things I will actually be doing:

• Math
• Work
• Work
• Work
• and then math.

This day is such a beautiful day and it will be wasted inside working on math until 3 and then going to work until 10, and then math will be resumed until I pass out.

DAY 25: A song that makes me laugh ...AND ROCK.

I can't believe I only have 5 more days of these. I feel like these 30 days have flown by.

Day 146: Luke is such a big kid now.

Random thought of the day: I think I want to start learning how to play the guitar.

My lover (aka a youtuber I watch all the time named Toby Turner. hothothot) plays the guitar and it's basically amazing. Since I will never be able to marry that man, I might as well do something productive and cool to take my mind off the fact that its never gonna happen. And i've always wanted to learn, he just reminded me of the fact.

Okay, any who, later this evening i'm going to go celebrate Lukas' birthday! I can't believe that kid is already 6. That just blows my mind. Can't believe how fast my nephew and nieces are growing up! I remember when they were all so little. Well Matilda still is, but next time I see her she'll be so much bigger. Geez. Where did the time go?

DAY 24: A song that I want to play at my funeral

Laterrr