Day 207: 3 more days

Why yes I have started a very brief, and short countdown to my birthday. I can't help it. This is the first time in a while that I have actually been excited for my birthday. I think it might be because people are actually excited for my birthday. Not because of my actual birthday but maybe because my friends are excited to have an excuse to get ridiculously drunk. Either way that have pumped me up and now I'm ridiculously excited for my birthday!

I've all of a sudden got ridiculously tired too. Must be from practicing my speech. "This idea is a graphic demonstration of the neglect these children face at home by the general public" or "Has developed a reputation for providing high quality education and training programs focusing on the neurobiology of trauma and related issues." are probably the hardest things that I have to remember. Good though right? Oh yeah, I'm great at speeches...until I have to give them.

Ergh. Okay I have to finish memorizing the rest of my speech.

P.s. 2 more days of school

3 more until my BIRTHDAY! EEEK.

Day 206: Almost done

I only have until thursday and then i'm done with summer school and then the next day it's my birthday!!! I'll finally be 21! This is crazy. So freaking crazy. I can't believe how old I am now.

I have to finish my speech. I just wanted to write this real quick before I forgot.

Oh yeah, happy memorial day! Thanks to all those wonderful people who have fought for this country!

Day 205: I finally...

Cleaned my room! It was so filthy before and today I actually had time to work on it. I feel so much better now. SO MUCH.

Before:

After:

Before

After:

Before:

After:

Now I'm officially pooped. Time to lounge around and read? I think yes.

Day 204: Productiveness

I don't know why I'm so eager for this weekend to be over with, but I can't stop myself from looking at the time waiting for be bed time, to wake up, go to work, work on homework and then go to bed and wake up bright and early Monday morning. I don't know if it's because I got in the habit of being busy over the last 2 weeks from summer school or what, but I really enjoyed waking up early and being productive. This weekend I could be lazy, and I was so desperately wanting and needing it, but now I want to get back to my productive self.

Also, now that summer school is ending, and I'll have more free time and I got my tie dye, I am able to go to the gym without worrying that it will get in the way from homework and work or worrying that if I go at this time then I might now get enough sleep and I might get sick and mess up summer school. I'll be worry free. I'm actually trying to get my mom to do this diet thing with me, because my friend said that she lost about 20 lbs on it and she really doesn't even look like she needs to lose weight. Plus for someone of her size, she would be at that plateau problem and that diet actually gave her the push she needed to get to her goal weight, so why not try it? Although my mom said it was unhealthy or something, but honestly... I dont really eat the greatest things now, so what does it matter?

Day 203: TIE DYE!

Last night, Bekah and I did some good 'ol tie dye. We were so worried the whole night that we were messing up. It was rather funny, because in the end they look awesome! I haven't seen hers yet, but I can only imagine that they look great. It was really fun. I've never done that before, so it makes me feel really good that they look so good. I only want to put them all on right now and wear them out and about. Call me tie dye crazy!

Yesterday was just a good day all together. I spent some time out in the sun, read a good book and I got to spend some time with Jose and that was nice. We played Grand Theft auto and it was hilarious. At one point in the game, it took me like 20 minutes to drive to a mission and as soon as I get there I slam my car into a wall and explode. Jose and I just busted up laughing. We were both thinking "SO CLOSE, and then boom! I crash and burn."

Then of course hung out with Bekah and did our tie dye. After she left I was pooped. Lack of sleep through out the week was just too exhausting for me so I ended up sleeping until noon. It was great. I definitely needed it.

Today is going to be another lazy day, well I'll probably help ross clean up the house a bit, but other than that I got nothing going on and I'm totally okay with that.

Day 202: Tie Dye!

Guess what I'm going to do today?! TIE DYE! I'm so freaking exciting, I have to go get the supplies today! Then later Bekah will come over after she gets off work and we will make them! I hope I can stay up and do it because I'm beat. Not going to bed until 12 or 1 and waking up at 6 or 7 is taking a toll on me.

I've never tie dyed before, so i'm a little nervous I'm going to mess up. I'm planning on dying about 5 shirts. Bekah and I thought that if we tie dyed some shirts then we could pump ourselves up for the gym. We thought, having matching shirts would make us go together and get in the habit again of going to the gym. God knows I need to start working out. These past weeks have been so hectic and busy that I just put it off. So, I'm hoping these shirts will pump us up and motivate us or at least me to start working out again. Silly, I know, but it might work. Maybe.

Any who, before my tie dying festivities, i'm going to lounge around outside and read my book. Oh yeah! Finally feeling like summer.

Day 201: Too close for comfort.

Yesterday North Texas was in a serious watch for tornados. One hit about 5 miles away from where I live. How terrifying is that? I've always been afraid of them, ever since I was little and I grew up in Oregon, where tornados are basically unheard of. I can't even imagine how the people of Joplin felt. I wish all of them well.

On to happier issues, I only have a week left of summer school, AND I got a 97 on my speech. How exciting is that?

Today was a BEAUTIFUL day, so I took full advantage of it and laid out and read a bit. I'm trying to enjoy summer as much as I possibly can before I have to focus all my attention on French in July. So I plan on tanning, and lounging around reading every day. Unless the weather is scary like yesterday, then I'll just take shelter inside.

Tomorrow I think a friend and me are going to get some tie dye supplies and possible tie dye some shirts. I've never done it before, so i'm pretty excited about it.

I also feel like taking a nap, but alas, I have to get ready for work. BOO. Please God, Don't let me work with that one conceited boy again. Give me precious 'high school boyfriend.' He's a sweetie.

I'm done rambling for the day.

Day 200: October 21st

There is a new judgement day set. Apparently, Harold Camping miscalculated and a new day is set. October 21st, so eerrr body get ready for that!

84 year old man, you failed in '94 and you failed May 21st, so why don't you just quit while you're... ahead? Maybe you are hoping that third times a charm? Well I highly doubt it but, even if it is, I don't want to know when the last day of my life will take place. So, why don't you do everyone a favor and shut the hell up?

The weather here is awful. It's muggy and whenever the weather is muggy my hair becomes a life of its own. My face and body just feels sticky and I can't breath. Summer, can you just be really hot and not have this nasty muggy moisture taking over my days? I'd really appreciate it.

Well, I've finished my homework for the day, so I'm going to lounge around in my comfy clothes and hopefully get to bed early tonight.

Day 199: Baggy eyes.

I'm not sure if you have noticed or not, but i've been tagging stuff that's trending down at the bottom. I thought it would be interesting to see what's 'hot' that day when I look back weeks, months maybe even years from now. I thought it would be pretty interesting, maybe days when I felt like it, I'd write about a few trending topics.

(Notice the bags under my eyes?)

I had my speech today. I think it went rather well. Although, you can definitely tell that I didn't get much sleep this weekend from either walking up early to go to work or staying up late to work on homework. Since we had speeches today, we don't have any homework so I spent it napping. I'm not usually a nap person, but today it was heaven. Then I painted my nails. I think they look pretty good for having shaky hands. :)

DAy 198: Conceited people

Why must you exist? Do you really think you own the world?

I must finish my speech! Talk to you tomorrow!

Day 197: Well...

...Nothing has happened. I'm still here.

Today was Old Navy's flip flop sale and I was expecting a mad house, but there was more employees working then actual customers. I don't know if that was a good thing, or a bad thing. I guess a good thing for me since I got off of work 3 hours early.

This beautiful co worker of mine, is such a douche bag. He's pretty, but he just shouldn't talk. Ever. He's the type of guy who knows he's hot, so I can only imagine that he gets everything handed to him. But not today. He was texting while at work, which to me is no big deal, but he got caught and had his phone taken up. Most people get fired for that, so he should be lucky. Instead he bitched the whole time about it, and then kept saying horrible comments like how ugly she is, and how she's an 'effing bitch' and all I wanted to do was slap him. She is uptight and can be a little annoying, but she is a nice person and I hate when people bitch about something that they could have prevented.

Okay I just wanted to vent. I need to go work on my speech.

Day 196: JUDGEMENT DAY!

And I spent my last day here on earth, working at Old Navy. Suck.

Day 195: FOLLOWERS!!!!

I wish I had more people to follow. There are so many fascinating people on here, but when I search I seem to find all the old blogs or the ones that I can't read because they are in another language.

Do people actually read my blog? No wait, let me rephrase.

Do YOU read my blog?

or do you pass it by? If you do, comment me, or follow me, so I can actually follow you and read a consistent blog and see how fascinating you are, because everyone has a story.

Day 194: 2 years later i'll look at this and think i'm all of the above

Earlier today while I was looking for some old word documents for school, since I'm retaking a class, I knew that I had some notes somewhere on my computer, but instead I found a lot of old messages, stories, poems, thoughts and stuff in my word documents. I read some of them, and I have to say that I have grown so much, it's unbelievable that I could possibly grow so much in just two years.

Some of the notes were conversations that I had with people, and either I was A. Ridiculous, B. Naive, C. DUMB DUMB DUMB or D. all of the above. Some stories I wrote, well, they weren't written very well. Grammar, spelling, all that stuff was horrible. And I'm not even that great at grammar now a days, but boy! Back then was pretty bad. I would spell 'you're' just 'your' because I didn't associate the difference between the two. I saw a lot of stuff like that. It's just funny to me, because I thought I was so smart then, thought I was the shit, when really I wasn't at all.

It wasn't just the spelling and grammar that I thought was ridiculous, but my whole attitude. I was so naive with some things, like with my relationships with friends and my ex. The conversations I had with them, and the things we said to each other were, well pretty stupid. So petty. It boggles my mind that back then, that type of stuff really really got to me, but looking at it now I'm almost laughing. Back then I was so hurt, so depressed and i'm thinking to myself, WHY? I could have saved a lot of time.

I feel like even though I still whine, still worry about small problems, and sometimes still get down, after seeing what I used to be like only 2 years ago gives me hope that in 2 more years i'll grow even more.

Change is good. Sometimes I forget to notice because i'm so ridiculous, naive, dumb dumb dumb, or all of the above!

day 193: Good News

Am I the only one who gets chills constantly all day if I haven't gotten enough sleep? I keep thinking i'm about to get sick, and I keep hoping it's my allergies but I kind of think i'm just getting sick. I better not. Otherwise I will shoot myself.

Speaking of shooting myself, remember how I wanted to shoot myself this semester? Well I got my grades back today. 2 C's and a B. I'm pretty sure I will be okay for the fall if I do well this summer and work my pretty little butt off. So keep your fingers crossed.

ALRIGHT. I need to go study and then go to work. And then sleep and start all over again.

day 192: Summer school

Today was my long first day of summer school. This class is going to be SO easy, just so time consuming when all I want to is relax by the pool and read books. Doesn't that sound so lovely?

I bought a pencil sharpener today, and you want to know the sad part? That was the best part of my day. But then again, when it comes to school supplies i'm in heaven.

Lukas is going to be over here tonight. I'm so excited. I haven't seen him in a while, so I can't wait to see him.

I want it to be june 2nd so badly. And then June 3rd. You wanna know why? Because i'll be 21! Not that i'm a drinker, but i'm just so excited to have that option to have drink without feeling like a child.

Oh, I hear car doors closing! Luke is here!

Day 191: DRIVE IN!

I had a very fun weekend. My friends mom had her graduation, so I went home with my friend for the weekend. I got to spend time with her family and friends and it was very lovely.

We also went to the drive in. I LOVE drive ins. They are so much fun, I don't know why people decided to get rid of them. I was so fortunate to grow up in a place that had a drive in right next to my grand parents house. It's such a fun experience. Being able to enjoy a movie under the stars is so nice. I love the atmosphere, the people, the smells. It's such a different feel then just watching a movie in the theater. It makes it much more exciting.

Tomorrow, I start summer school. Kind of nervous because it's so much schooling when I should be enjoying summer. I also am going to start working out again. At 5 in the morning. Talk about boot camp.

I have a feeling this summer is going to be all about getting fit and doing well in school. I have a feeling that I will depend on these grades to get me to be on 'good standing' with the school, so I can take classes in the Fall. *Stomach churn*

Day 190: Frustration

I know everyone gets frustrated with life, and wishes things could be different. It's so hard not to be frustrated when you're stuck in the same boring routine and there is so much to life then the same ol' same ol'.

If you haven't guessed it by now, yes, I'm going to vent about life right now. But not in the typical, I hate my life kind of way. Well, maybe a little.

You know how people believe that we are put on Earth for a reason, and we have a purpose? Well if I were to believe that, then what is my purpose? I know it's not to fail at college, to live at home, and to work at Old Navy. Everyone around me is finding their mold. Figuring out exactly where they want to be, finding their purpose, and yet I feel like I've taken a few steps back and i'm still a little child.

I'm tired of depending on my parents, but that's just how it has to be because otherwise I wouldn't be able to float. I couldn't make it in the real world, but I so desperately want to. I want to know exactly what I want and to go after it. To not have to take stupid classes that I don't need, to waste money in life on the dumb things.

The only problem is, I don't know what I want. I know what I don't want, but how can I possible progress if I don't have a goal?

Maybe i've read too many stories, or watched too many movies, but I know there is more to life than this. And I want to live mine. I want to appreciate what we have rather than pass it by every day because i'm focusing on the dumb, little things.

I'm just frustrated that life has to be like this. It's so hard for me to understand why people have to live the way they do, doing things they don't want to do, dealing with so many hardships etc etc. I mean, I do understand, but my perfect utopia world doesn't.

Day 189: Tie Dye

I was so mad yesterday that Blogspot was down. I actually had something to write about, so it was a little depressing.

Good news though, Texas is getting a n and out burger! How delicious.

Okay, so I had lunch with my friend, Bekah, and we decided that we are going to get a tie dying kit and tie dye a different color shirt for each day of the week. I'm so pumped. I'm not sure when we are going to do it, but hopefully soon.

Also, we might start working out at like 6 in the morning 4 days out of the week. Not sure how that will work, but next week we are gonna try it.

Day 188: STUPID BLOG WAS DOWN YESTERday!

Mommy daughter dates are the best. We seriously haven't been on one in ages, or maybe even ever. I feel like all we ever do when we go out is run errands, but today we went shopping and then went and saw a movie. I asked my mom when the last time we went to see a movie together and she replied, "Lord of the Rings." That was 10 years ago! I told you it was a long time. Before we went to sit down in the theater, we went to the bathroom and mom was so funny. There was an island in the bathrooms were the sinks and mirrors were, but the sinks and mirrors were on both sides of the island. Each sink has its own individual mirror and between the mirrors, where the wall usually should be, there is nothing, so basically you can see through the wall to the other side of the island. Anyways, the way it worked out was I was on one side of the island washing my hands, while my mother was on the other side. But we were diagonally from each other, so I could see her through the hole in the wall between the mirrors. As I'm talking to my mom, I see her look to the left of her, then the right and then just look really confused. Finally she looks at me again and then asks, "Where ARE you?!"

You know how you can look at people through the mirror while they are standing next to you? Well, thats what my mother thought. It was so funny because it took her so long to realize I was on the other side of the island. That was just a funny little story before we say the movie. We saw Something Borrowed, and it was ADORABLE. All I have to say is....why can't John Krasinski be my lover? Oh right, because he's married. Well how about Colin Egglesfield? I'll have to check him out, well I already did, but I meant to see if he is married or not. He's a hottie.

Romantic comedies are horrible to watch while single though. Makes you so envious. Or at least it makes me so envious. Oh well. What can ya do. Alright, I'm off.

Day 187: Halo reach

I want it. I also want Portal 2.

I just want to play video games.

I'm in a very nerdy mood right now. I need to set up my xbox again or something because honestly, I miss playing games.

Hopefully my mom will let me, but I kinda doubt it. Now i'm regretting not having my own T.V. in my room.

Well now that my nerdy ramblings are over, what other things could I ramble about? It's been storming all day. I kinda love it. It's been so nice. We needed the rain. Although the weather has made my head hurt from allergies.

Any who, tomorrow is date night with my mom! Dinner and a movie. So excited. I love mom and me time.

day 186: Today...

... I spent a lovely day with my mother. Although I was supposed to buy her lunch for a late mother's day gift, but she postponed it for Thursday night. Our date night! How precious is that?

Lets see what, what else did i do? Nothing but relax. Oh yeah. Thats what I needed.

Did I already tell you that I don't want to start school monday?

Not at all.

Oh I also bought a jump rope to work out. That thing is hard!!! It's so intense. I've done it 3 days in a row and my whole body was sore yesterday and today. I just can't believe jump roping does that. Okay, well thats really all I wanted to say.

Boring. I know.

I'm off

Day 185: Summer.

Today would have been my official start to summer, but it's more like a spring break, because starting next week, I have summer school. I'm so not looking forward to it.

I had my french final today, and it was all reading comprehension. I pray to god that I did okay. If I make a C in french I will be so happy.

I just really hope i'm doing okay, because yet again i feel so freaking lost in life. This feeling is getting rather annoying. I'm tired of worrying about it, but I can't stop myself from worrying.

This blog is boring, but I have nothing else to talk about.

Day 184: Happy mothers day!

Happy mothers day to all the moms out there. But I especially want to wish my mother, my grandma and my sisters a wonderful mothers day. My grandmas and sisters are so wonderful to me, yall practically raised me when mom was working and for that i'm so thankful. And now you have kids of your own and yall are fantastic mothers.

But most importantly, the one who gave birth to me, who has dealt with me for almost 21 years. Mom. I love you with all my heart and you deserve the world. Even though sometimes we don't always agree on things, or we get in fights here or there, I would never trade you. You made me who i am, and without you I would be lost. I love you.

Day 183: Paris Je t'aime

If you haven't seen the movie Paris Je t'aime, I recommend it. It has a little bit of everything. Love, drama, comedy, feel good and so on. If you can't do subtitles then I suggest you learn to like them, because this movie really is worth watching.

This little kid is the cutest thing ever. I want him.

Day 182: Blah again.

It's friday! Thank you, Rebecca Black for making that phrase my worst enemy.

If you don't know what i'm talking about look up the song "friday"

Tomorrow is my last week of school, but then I start summer school :( Oh dear. I'm really really hoping I can take classes in the fall.

As of right now, I feel like a failure.

I guess i'm just a little down right now.

And I need to get ready for work.

Day 181: Road Trip

Traveled all the way to good ol' Commerce today. I got to see my lovely friends Iman, Trenton, Tiffany and her precious baby boy. Brandie also got to come along with me which was pretty nice. I got to spend a few hours with them and hang out, tell stories and laugh. It was a pretty fun day, but now i'm exhausted. It was pretty weird going back there though. I haven't been there in about 2 years and seeing it was so odd. That was my life for a year and now i'm somewhere else, living at home, going to a different school, hanging with different people, experiencing new memories. I miss a lot of back then, but its nice where I am now.

Any who that was my eventful day.

I would type more, but really, I only had like 3 hours of sleep.

Day 180: TIRED

I'm tired. Tomorrow commerce.

The end.

Such a good blog.

Day 179: What do I do?

I'm gonna miss summer. Today I did absolutely nothing, and that just reminded me of what i'll be missing this summer since i'll be taking two terms of summer school. At least i'll get a few weeks off, but I'm in a dilemma because I don't know what I want to do with that time. Go to Oregon? Go to Wisconsin? Stay here? What do I do?

Thursday I'm going to Commerce to visit some friends. It's going to be interesting, since I haven't been there in over a year. I'm kind of nervous to see what memories it brings back.

Being at Commerce wasn't a very good experience... But I am excited to see some good friends. It's been way way too long.

Welp, like i said, I haven't done a lot today so I'm off.

Day 178: Osama Bin Laden is DEAD

Finally I can breath for a little while. A by a while I mean, tonight and tomorrow. Next week I have finals so I have to start studying, but not tonight. I refuse to do anything school related tonight.

REFUSE.

So, instead i plan blog.

Last night, I went to bed early, but when I woke up I saw a lot of tweets, statuses, and comments about Osama Bin Laden. Of course I had just woken up, still in bed, looking at my phone through one eye, since the other one was closed because the light from the phone was too bright. But as soon as I saw DEAD, I was up.

I couldn't believe what I had just read. So once I got up and out of bed I ran to start my computer up, and watched immediately watched Obama's speech.

I was kind of filled with mix emotions. It was weird. It's been TEN years since really thinking about the man and what he did to US. Of course I know he was an awful horrible being, but all I kept thinking was, just because he's dead doesn't mean al queda is done and over with and also, seeing americans celebrating a death reminded me of a Martin Luther King quote, "I mourn the loss of thousands of precious lives, but i will not rejoice in the death of an enemy."

So thats just how I felt today.

Day 177: Ugh.

This is all i'm doing today, after working for four hours.

I'm ready for a break!

day 176: omg

i forgot to post!!!!! i feel horrible!!!! i've just been so busy! Shame on me.