Day 167: Relax. Don't move.

"Don't move!"

"Relax."

"Don't move!"

"Relax."

Those aren't very encouraging words to listen to while my whole body is moving into this circular machine that looks like a portal into another dimension. Instead all I wanted to do was bust out sining "Relax" by Frankie Goes to Hollywood, and start dancing. But I couldn't. I had to lie there, looking at landscape posters above my head while listening to the machine tell me to not move and relax.

I don't know why, but I feel like people are more concerned with this than I am. It's not that I don't think this is a serious matter, because it is, but I guess since it's dealing with me and I could have a tumor or whatever it is, I handle the situation more lightly than others.

As I was waiting to get my CT scan, I was thinking about all the other people who were there, waiting in the exact same waiting room as me and I kept wondering what's wrong with them? I couldn't stop myself from thinking the worst and feeling sorry for them. I just kept hoping THEY would be alright, and then I heard my name being called "Hessel? You ready for this?"

Oh yeah. I'm waiting to see what's wrong with ME. Shouldn't I be worried? Obviously not, because while I was laying in that time machine, I kept singing in my head; "Relax, don't do it, when you want to come to it."

It's funny to me, because I know if one of my family members, or friends were in the same situation as me I'd be freaking out and worried about them, but because it's me I end up laughing at the machine. It worked though. I didn't move, and I relaxed. When you want to come to it.