My First Love
When I first saw this on the list, I wasn't looking forward to writing this. I'm still not looking forward to this, but it's better than saying a cheesy actor that I adored as a kid (Oh dreamy Leo), or a childhood crush or even simply just passing the topic by. I want to write about my first love, and by first love I don't necessarily mean him, but the experience in itself, because even though it is a tender topic, it is real and it is me. My perspective on my first love is always evolving, always changing and I know that in a few years I will feel differently about it than I do now. So as of now, I'll share to you how I viewed my first love.
Now, going back a few years I was obviously different than I am now. I was a "closet" hopeless romantic, an idealist. I tried so hard not to be that girl, who day dreamed of her knight and shining armour to rescue her, who believed that some people were meant to be and happily ever afters did exist.
When I first saw him my sophomore year, in my heart, I knew deep down he'd be my first love, and a few years later he was.
I know now that we weren't meant to be, because I was so naive and such a hopeless romantic I had thought it was fate. It was so odd for me to have had a crush on a stranger for so long and then in a matter of moments compared to the years I crushed, we were together. WE were together. How many days and nights had I dreamt this? How many times did I wish that one day maybe we could be? And then one day it happened, I pinched myself to see if it were true that my wish finally came true and sure enough I was finally with him.
Falling in love for the very first time is something in my opinion that can't be explained. Maybe because there is too many emotions pilling up at once, or maybe because things all seem to be a blur, I don't really know the answer but I can't explain it. Even though I know some people think I was crazy for falling for him, I knew that if I never had had him I wouldn't have experienced such a deep thing called love and I wouldn't be who I am today.
Do I still love him? Absolutely not. Would I change anything about my experience? Absolutely not.
I grinned until my cheeks hurt.
My stomach was always full of butterflies.
My heart was happy and full.
I felt more alive than I had ever felt.
I finally realized that there may not be a happily ever after, but there are always happy memories that last forever no matter where those two individuals end up.
