Day 61: I need to go Grocery shopping!

It's so gorgeous outside. Spring is finally here. The older I get the faster time seems to move. I need it to slow down so I can enjoy days like these. Geeze.

You know what I'm excited about? I'm going to start cooking. I figured if I really want to get healthy, I have got to know what I'm putting in my body, and the only way to do that is to make it myself. Plus, i've always wanted to know how to cook, because I really suck.
I've got a few recipes I want to try. WOO excitement!

I need to go grocery shopping!

Day 60: Feeling better

I'm finally feeling better. Health wise at least. I still kind of feel blah, but that's okay.

Tomorrow IM GOING TO WORK OUT! I'm so excited. I feel like I'm going to go for like 3 hours just because I can.

Is that too much? Probably.
I probably should take it easy, but I really don't want to.

Anyways, thats just a quick update. I really have not much else going on.

Day 59: The battle

It's not the sickness that I hate the most. It's the battle inside my head that drives me insane. The battles is constantly going, and is never ending, but whenever I get sick, the battle intensifies. I don't know why this is, but it does intensify.

There are two of me fighting. The one I hate, and the one I so desperately want to be.

And every time I get sick, I get defeated, by myself. The one I hate lets me do all the bad things and feel the pain, the guilt and the hurt, but it doesn't let me remember what I've accomplished or done. It's not understanding, but demanding. It kicks me when I'm down, judges me, criticizes me, calls me names, gives me no worth.

It suffocates the me that I want to be.

Hopefully one day I can win.


Whoever survive this, 
only one of us can ride forever, 
so you and I cant ride together, 
can't live or cant die together, 
all we can do is collide together, 
so I skillfully apply the pressure, 
won't stop until I'm forever... one!

Day 58: Breathing Oscars.

I take a lot of things for granted. Like breathing for one. Yesterday everything was coming out, now I'm extremely stuffed up. I cannot wait to exercise. I've been really bad these past two days. Cookies, Mcdonalds, crap, crap, crap. That's probably what's making me more sick. No more complaining, Katelan. It could be so much worse! Okay?! Okay.

I'll be better soon, and then I'll work out harder than ever. I hate looking at the calendar I've made and seeing more black marks than red. But I've just started and the beginning is always rocky right?

How bout them oscars?

I wonder who is going to win? Is it weird that I never see the nominated movies? Ever. Maybe one day I will.

Edit:

Just saw my girlfriend on the red carpet, and I was blown away by how awesome she rocked that dress and how gorgeous she is. Can't we just be friends? Am I a little too obsessed? Possibly, but I just love everything that she's become.

Day 57: uguuugh

I didn't post yesterday. I forgot. Not only did I forget but I basically slept all day. Or I was at the doctor. They told me I have a sinus infection. Figures. That's probably why I was sick like a month ago, and it came back so fast. Because it was the SAME sickness. I fucking hate my sinuses. It messes me up. Not only do I feel like complete poo, but I can't exercise and I was once again doing so well. Oh well, I'll get it back. And this time I went to the doctor to get medicine, so hopefully I don't get sick next month. Jesus.


I'm just going to go die now from not sneezing and then feeling like I'm going to sneeze.

Day 55: uugh

Fuck this shit. I'm sick again. I was sick like what? 2 weeks ago. Awesome.

Day 54: Ew

Why is my house infested with mosquito eaters? THEY ARE EVERY WHERE. EWWW

It's like an invasion. I do not like it. One because they are annoying and two, I dont want to kill them, but I want them to be gone so then I'm just put into this big dilemma.

I need to switch banks and get a credit card. My bank just switched me over so I can't have a savings account. Does this mean that when I try to get my money, there will be complications? I hope not.

I need to do that soon.
I also need to buy a new computer.
And also, look into that kick boxing class my friend had suggested, because I've always wanted to do that.

Alright I need a shower because I haven't had one since yesterday morning and I've worked out twice. EWWW.