I'm kind of in a funk. Maybe because the story I'm working on isn't going where I want it to go and I only have so many days left to finish it. Maybe because I haven't worked out in a few days. Maybe because my brother has my car and I wont be able to go to San Antonio this weekend. Or maybe because my Ross's homeless brother is going to stay here for awhile... even though he's a felon. Not totally comfortable with that. Anyways, I'm in this funk and I just want to get out of it. I feel completely overwhelmed. With life and school and I know I shouldn't, yet I feel this thundercloud hovering over me just waiting to rain. Just go away and let the sun shine through, please.
Burnt out may be the word that I'm looking for. Each day I'm realizing that this is my last year to really be a kid. Really be selfish and take advantage of it... yet it's hard to do that when I have to think about grades, and working just to have enough money for gas... (Like how am I going to make it in the real world with actual BILLS to pay?) See, and then I think of the future and stress about that, when really I ought to be focused on the now. And enjoy it.
Hmmph. That's hard.
Oh, dad. Sorry I was rude to you in the email. I'm just super bitchy and stressed.
Maybe tomorrow if I go on a bike ride before school I'll feel better. I'm going to try it.
Holy crap. It's already 11.
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