So, it's 4:33 in the morning. Breaks do this to me. I don't think I will ever be a morning person.
Ever.
I had an incredible night, but all I can focus on is the past. I hate when I do that. I don't know why I am one of those people who lives in the past, but I am one. It takes like one teeny, tiny, little thing to make everything come back to me like it was yesterday. It could be one random song, those one jeans that you never wear, that hint of smell, that bright color, that one road, that one phrase, that one delicious taste that has now lost its taste, etc. etc...
Do you ever lose focus of life when you are surrounded by all the things that remind you of the past? Lately I have. It seems to be everything these days and it pushes all the important things out of focus and I'm just stuck with a memory. A memory that turns into an obsessive thought that just wont leave. It's not like I want it there. It is like a cough that sticks around after a bad cold. Everything is fine, until you hack something up and then you remember you're still sick.
Hopefully one day, I'll find some good medicine for this, because it's getting pretty old.
I'm just curious if this is something that happens to you? And maybe what you do to be one of those people who live in the moment or look towards the future, because I sure need to learn how to be one of those people.
Besides my rant, I have been staying up way too late, and sleeping in way too late, working out and hanging out. Applied for a few jobs online, and gambling. Yes, gambling. Tonight I went on a mini road trip with some friends to Oklahoma and we gambled. I lost 9 bucks, I smell of smoke, my eyes hurt because of the smoke and a creepy old man talked to me tonight, but other than that it was a good night.
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